More than a year after Auckland’s Urge Bar closed, its parties are still raging.

Although they mostly attract Kiwi bears and leather guys, any guys who love guys are guaranteed a great night wherever the events are now held and whatever theme the organisers choose, so we thought it was time to get the inside gossip on what really goes on when the lights go down and the music pumps up.

And if Gentle Ben’s* story of his first Urge party gets your juices flowing, there are plenty of events on the horizon for you to enjoy including an October 15 Bearracuda, the annual November 19 Underwear Birthday Party (Urge is 19 years old this year!), December’s LOVE party and the big New Year’s Eve bash.

*Not real name


I was a bit of a late bloomer to the whole “Bear” scene, so at the behest of my new “cub” boyfriend we went to my first Underwear Party in 2015, before Urge Bar closed for good. He’d been a bit of a regular to the bar over the years, so I had a bit of a safety net, so to speak.

I don’t know why I was nervous; I’ve definitely done my fair share of partying over the years - but I guess it had a lot to do with being in my undies. I’ve never felt totally cool with my bod and letting it all hang out was something a bit foreign. I mean, I hardly ever swim at the beach or public pools, which is really my loss – because who cares what I look like right? My BF loves me, and it works!

Anyway, a bit of Dutch courage and a super cute pair of navy Y-fronts and it was all go. Paul and Alan being the ultimate hosts made it a really safe space, so after 10 minutes or so you didn’t even notice that you and others were in their short shorts – well, sort of ;)

I don’t know what I was worried about, it was a sexy experience filled with all body types and my BF and I made the most of the charged environment.

I’ve been to a few more Urge events over the last year or so and they’ve ranged from mild to wild, with no pressure and no attitude. Most recently, gay rugby team the Falcons held a fundraiser with Urge Events for their rugby trip overseas; they did really well taking to stage to strip for the cheering crowd and gave everyone a good eye-full. It takes balls to get your junk out on stage!

The Urge Black party a couple of months before was a bit less tame… let’s just say the LYC live sex show set the tone for the night, and I’m sure the venue would have looked like a Jackson Pollock painting in the morning. Those colourful LYC wrappers really stand out; I know, for me, using condoms takes some of the stress out of hooking up and they help give me and my BF the confidence to explore our limits a bit more.

It’s a liberating experience taking charge of your sexuality – as gay men we can define how our relationships look, and it can be hot and fun if you’re open to new things!

  • For more information on what’s going on and to keep on top of all Urge’s upcoming parties, visit their Facebook page.